can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Randomize
