ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
