You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
You took a bar mat shot.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
