i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
