apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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