i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Randomize
