whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
Randomize
