At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
