You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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