Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
