Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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