If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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