I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
I deserve this hangover.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
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