those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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