You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Randomize
