They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
