Have you finally orgasmed yet?
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
lets start a swedish sibling band together
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
Randomize
