I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I licked your asshole in confidence.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
