Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
