i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
