Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize
