Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize
