You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
