apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Randomize
