The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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