New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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