Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
he was CRYING into my vagina
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
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