Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Randomize
