Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Randomize
