sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
