i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
You made out with two different species that night
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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