i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
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