Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Randomize
