I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
