Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
