My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Randomize
