oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Dignity is for republicans.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
