so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
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