I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
He did a backflip because drugs
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Randomize
