Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
last night I used snow as a chaser
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Randomize
