this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
