hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
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