How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Randomize
