My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
