Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Randomize
