White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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