a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Randomize
