She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Randomize
