No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
