Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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