I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
