"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
No subtext here. People are naked.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
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