Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Randomize
