he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
